I am a mother

I am the mother of two. Five pregnancies. Two living children. 

I have seen some hardship in my days, but mostly, my life has been good. I have a loving family, had a good childhood, have made friends in every stage of my life and have a fulfilling career serving others. 

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I became a mother at thirty. Then again at thirty two.

The first year of motherhood was the very best of mine. No other year I can remember could even compete. The first year of my second son's life was beautiful, but it was messy. There were a few family health crises, the loss of a beloved pet, and not a lot of extra margin to handle anything extra with two under two on my hips. 

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The years that followed my second son's birth were difficult years. Not because of him. In fact, he was the bright light that, with the joy his brother also brought, always carried us through. But the years were tough. There were struggles with mental health, relationships, hard pregnancy losses, job loss, pandemics, a move to a new province. They were intense and difficult years. Years I'm only beginning to process fully now. 

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Somehow we managed to handle all of that. Not always gracefully, but we handled it. We handled it all until the ground shook so fiercely that we stood frozen in time. Our son, we learned, had health issues that we just didn't know how to make sense of. Health issues that would change the trajectory of his life, of our lives, entirely. More questions than answers. Pain, bargaining, denial, hope, and lots and lots of tears. 

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That is how this little blog came to be. I am a mother, needing to share the bits of my story that feel lonely. The pieces that nobody else but my husband and I feel or notice. I need to share them for me. So they can breathe. But I hope, that by sharing, you feel more connected to our story, and I hope that maybe it offers perspective in your own life now and then, maybe helps you feel less alone. Let's face it, we all have a jagged piece of sea glass that needs love, attention and processing.

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xo

Chelsea